Golf poem

In My Hand I Hold A Ball, White And Dimpled, Rather Small.

Oh, How Bland It Does Appear, This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.

By It's Size I Could Not Guess, The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.

But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell, I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.

My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same, Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.

It Rules My Mind For Hours On End, A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.

It Has Made Me Yell, Curse And Cry. I Hate Myself And Want To Die.

It Promises A Thing Called Par, If I Can Hit It straight And Far.

To Master Such A Tiny Ball, Should Not Be Very Hard At All.

But My Desires The Ball Refuses, And Does Exactly As It Chooses.

It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies, And Even Disappears Before My Eyes.

Often It Will Have A Whim, To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.

With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land, It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.

Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul, If Only It Would Find The Hole.

It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup, And Swear That I Will Give It Up.

And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow, But The Ball Knows .... I'll Be Back Tomorrow.

Whos play has been the biggest surprise so far on the PGA Tour? Phil Mickelson Tiger Woods Hunter Mahan Ernie Els other View results

Candle Lake, fun in the snow and sun

Nestled majestically between the lake and the pines, Candle Lake Golf Resort is a vision of natural splendor, summer or winter. This lakeside facility — about 2.5 hours north of Prince Albert on Highway 11 — blends the quiet charm of the north with the facilities of a world-class resort.

"If you're a snowmobile fanatic or a cross-country skier, a skater, an ice fisherman, a snowshoer, or simply want a winter get-a-away, Candle Lake is your place to relax," says James Michayluk, director of marketing.

"Winter conditions at Candle Lake are great right now. And as an added incentive to visit during January, a night in one of our two-bedroom cabins (sleeps up to six) is only $150 plus taxes with a minimum two night stay."

The area is well-known to snowmobilers for its great snow conditions and sheltered trails. The Candle Lake SnoDrifters Snowmobile Club maintains more than 500 kilometres of trails throughout the area. There are warm-up shelters along the trails, and fuel is available at several locations (see trail map at www.candlelakegolfresort.com/default.aspx?page=12 or www.sasksnowmobiling.sk.ca).

Candle Lake offers Polaris 550 snowmobile rentals, and cabin rentals providing a cozy and warm place to stay for your winter holiday. Book your sled early to ensure availability.

"There is a complement of 12 staff in the restaurant, housekeeping, management and maintenance during the winter to help make sure that you have a great visit," says Michayluk.

If cross-country skiing is your thing, staff groom trails on the golf course and the ice skating rink on the marina gets cleared and cleaned regularly with a Zamboni. If that's not enough, try the toboggan hill, snow shoeing, ice fishing, or kick back by the fire pits or in the hot tub.

Stay tuned for additional special rates this winter. The resort can also handle large private and corporate events, weddings, annual general meetings, seminars, parties etc.

For more information contact, James Michayluk, Director of Marketing at 306-960-8292 or 929-2211, e-mail - marketing@candlelakegolfresort.com or visit www.candlelakegolfresort.com. We also encourage people to join the facebook fan page to keep updated on all the latest contests and information.

Avoiding the dreaded snowman

One of the best strategies for improving your score is to take the big number off the scorecard. A snowman (8), or worse, is a sure way to trash your game and rack up another poor game. Here are five ways to eliminate or minimize the big numbers.

Putt from the woods - If your shot ends up on hardpan or pine needles in the woods, try using a putter. An iron might bounce off the hard dirt, while a putter gaurantees a solid strike. A putter will also keep the ball low which might prevent the ball from hitting low hanging branches or trees. The goal is to get the ball back on the fairway and there is no one way to do it.

The tension flex - Getting out of an ugly situation will quickly make you tense and stressed. Nobody needs a big number. The longer you stand there and think about what to do - the more the stress builds. To counter this, try flexing your knees a few times to relax your legs like Ernie Ells. And try waggling the club a few times to keep your muscles loose.

No fear in sand - Poor bunker shots are usually caused by fear. The average golfer is worried about skulling the ball or leaving it in the trap. The remedy is to approach the shot without fear. The best way to do that is to practice sand shots until you are confident of your ability. Most golfers never practice sand shots and pay a heavy price for it.

Tough grass, tough action - Landing in heavy rough may require you to power out. A normal swing may cause the ball to just pop out. So, take a more lofted club, play the ball back in your stance, and grip up on the club. Swing fully and drive the ball out. Importantly, keep the face pointing at the target and avid closing the clubface by gripping the club tightly.

Always ready - Strange things happen on a golf course so it's a good idea to be always ready. Throw a few items in your bag for minor medical emergencies - aspirin, sunscreen, insect repellant and bandages including bigger ones for your ankles. And save another big number.

Tired of getting scammed on eBay!

by Kyle Duffin, publisher SaskGolfer.com

In Saskatchewan we are cursed with long cold winters, so out of boredom we log onto the computer and shop away. To find things to do and to pass the time we look for golf fixes and great deals! Sometimes it's not a good deal.

As a club manager I clean out the golf shop pretty good in the fall and around Christmas season, I'm usually pleased if I only have couple drivers and maybe a set of irons left. This may hurt my sales sometimes but I'm a new generation golf pro - I hate having old equipment for sale in my proshop, I like having new products to pass along to members & visitors. And this is where EBay comes in...

It never fails every spring that I see lots of golfers come out to the golf course, with new equipment. It's kind of funny because they come right in the proshop and show me what they got. They tell me from where and for what price, and they look around to see if they got a good deal on the golf club. More times than most they never do because the golf club is older than my socks. Some days it bugs me and some days it doesn't, I guess that's just pride in my job.

I'm sure I have 100 other golf professionals that would agree. Why not ask me for a price, that way at least we have a shot as servicing you & making a sale. If the proshop can't compete with the price then so be it. Everybody is in the business to make money, so why would somebody sell this golf club to lose money? And they aren't! If a club retails for $400 but it's on sale for $240 on EBay? Think about it. Does the golfing public really think a proshop makes $160 on a golf club?? I wish. So what's up?

In the spring I always get these problems with the golfers in the area not supporting the shop, so I finally got the last laugh one day. Had a golfer tell me he could get a Taylor Made R9 driver on EBay for $350US shipped to his door. I couldn't touch that price so he walked to purchase from EBay, I knew something was up.

It's at a Taylor made Demo Day in June at the golf club, when he comes out with his new R9 Driver; first thing I noticed was his odd colored head cover. He's blasting golf balls on the far side of the range always making constant eye contact with me, making sure I notice his new club, showing everybody on the range what a great deal he got etc.

After a good dozen drives the head flies off and he breaks the shaft down by the hozal He's upset because this golf club is about a week old and it's his first few swings. He turns around gives me his golf club and asks, "Can you return this for warranty"?? My answer was out quicker than his question, "NO" take it back to wear you got it from. He said, "I cant I got it from EBay." My smile was bigger than the club. As I inspect the golf club, it's not even close to the real deal. I told him this is a fake!!! No wonder you got it for $350. He was upset with me, for reasons I'm sure I would be if the shoe was on the other foot. But, I had to make my point so I showed him why this was a fake. The heads looks really close, but except for the paint job looked like my two year old had painted it. The shaft was different and the grip was actually an old Taylor Made R5 grip, also the head cover and the wrench for the club was red instead of white. The Taylor Made Rep had backed my opinion. Mine sold for $450. I guess he saved $100. I handed back the golf club and said good luck. He never got warranty and was scammed on EBay with a fake golf club.

During my 10 years in the golf industry I have seen an explosion in golf club counterfeiters. Why is that? There are many reasons why this has become such a popular profession and one with serious fines. It all started when companies overseas started to get the majority of golf club production business from the U.S. China and Taiwan began to get almost all the work for golf club manufacturing about two decades ago. And now...the U.S. produces nothing simply because of cost.

The majority of there workers work 24/7 and get paid about $150 a month. But they can make up to $10,000 for stealing an original design by OEM, which is a good little bonus. Secondly, and just as important, many people get there hands on the golf club before the design is completed. Too many middle men are involved for a golf club. I've heard that anywhere from 70-75 people are in constant touch of a golf club before it's finished.

Don't get me wrong there are some good deals on EBay if you know what you're looking for. But, and this is a big one, if it sounds too good to be true it usually is.

Please check with you local CPGA Professional and just ask. It might save you a headache. Did you know 24% of Golf Clubs Sold on EBay are fakes! Stay tuned for March e-letter and "10 Ways Not To Get Scammed on EBAY."

DeLaet undergoes back surgery

Former SGA Provincial Amateur Men's Champion and PGA Tour Athlete Graham DeLaet is described as the country's best prospect in 2011 by the Globe and Mail on Jan.3.

After securing his PGA Tour Card for 2011, Graham DeLaet came back to Saskatchewan to visit with friends, family and was a special guest at Credit Union Center as he met with patrons and signed autographs prior to a Blades game November 2 in Saskatoon. After signing autographs Graham made his way out onto the ice for the ceremonial puck drop where he was recognized for his great achievement.

The Saskatchewan Golf Association is very proud of Graham and what he has accomplished as an amateur and professional golfer. He is a great ambassador for the game and someone that junior golfers can look up to. He has proven that no matter where you are from, if you work hard and put in the time to get better your ultimate dream can come true. Although Graham did not win this year on the PGA tour he made some noise finishing T-3 at the Shell Houston Open and had 3 top 10's and 8 top 25 finishes in which secured his card for 2011 finishing 100th on the money List and $954,011 in earnings.

Graham was limited to practicing and working on his game during the fall series where he played his most consistent golf of the year. It was a long time back injury from hockey that was acting up but his mental and Canadian toughness that pulled him through the final events of the season to lock down his PGA Tour playing privileges for 2011.

With his status now secured for next season, the #1 ball striker on the PGA Tour plans to relax at home in Boise and get into a training program to overcome the back injury which he sustained in his playing days as a hockey player. It's reported he will miss two months of action after having back surgery the week of Jan. 3. Based on Graham's finishes this season and the stats he has posted Graham could be the first Saskatchewan born golfer to step into the winner circle on the PGA Tour. Congratulations Graham on a great season.

Six Canadian men qualified for the PGA Tour this year and four women qualified for the LPGA Tour. None rank in the top 100 but at least there are an unusually high number of Canucks (with files from Phil Grosse, SGA)

Lame golf jokes!

A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! "Help me dear," she groans to her husband. The husband calls 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him. "I'm dying here and you're putting?" "Don't worry dear," says the husband calmly, "they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you. "Well, how long will it take for him to get here?" she asks feebly. "No time at all," says her husband. "Everybody's already agreed to let him play through."

A gushy reporter told Phil Mickelson, "You are spectacular, your name is synonymous with the game of golf. You really know your way around the course. What's your secret?" Mickelson replied, "The holes are numbered."

A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest asks, "What are you going to use on this hole, my son?" The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?" The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray." The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards. The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down."

Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" "Yes " says the woman. "Did you hit him with that golf club?" "Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face. "How many times did you hit him?" "I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times...just put me down for a five."

A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between two trees he thought he could hit through. Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him. As he approached the gates of Heaven, St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?" The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?"

The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side. She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?" He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"

New SGA executive director

The Saskatchewan Golf Association is pleased to announce Brian Lee as the new Executive Director. Brian has been with the Saskatchewan Golf Association since March of 2003 as the Manager of Tournaments and Player Services. Brian possesses a wealth of knowledge for the rules of the game and amateur golf in general. His leadership skills and determination to put golf on the map in Saskatchewan boasts well for the association in establishing programs, services and building relationships with people in and outside the golf community. www.saskgolf.ca

Schools program growing

The National Golf In Schools Program has reached new heights in Saskatchewan as there are 119 schools and counting participating in Saskatchewan. Recently it was documented by Golf Canada that 37% of schools in Saskatchewan are participating in the National Golf In Schools Program.

The Saskatchewan Golf Association would like to recognize all the schools participating in the National Golf In Schools Program as well as the golf professionals, managers and volunteers promoting the program as well as the School Boards and teachers delivering and supporting the program throughout Saskatchewan. Without your efforts we simply would not be able to expose children to this great lifelong game at the capacity we are doing so.

If you are interested in having the National Golf In Schools Program in your community or school please do not hesitate to contact Phil Grosse Manager of Marketing and Sport Development at pgrosse@saskgolf.ca Also see www.nationgolfinschools.com.

Looking forward to 2011

The winter nights may seem longer and the days much shorter, but soon the 2011 golf season will be upon us. What do we have to look forward to as 2010 draws to an end? Here are 10 items:

1. Well if you are a part of the lucky crew who winters down south, make sure you post your scores for handicapping purposes. Enjoy your time in the sunny south and get your game fine tuned for the start of the golf season starting April 15th, 2011. PS – If you have extra room at your winter homes, make sure you tell your friends. They may want to join you.
2. A province with some of the most picturesque golf courses and holes anywhere in the world. If you only played 1 course in 2010, our challenge to you is take your friends and family and visit at least 3 new courses you have never played in 2011. If you have the time, send us a photo and a quick story about your golf day. We may use it in an upcoming issue of "ON PAR".
3. The most golf courses per capita in Canada. The exact number in our province is not known as there are several golf course boasting 6, 7, 9, 18, 27 and 36 hole facilities. The fact remains there are a lot of choices, so if you have the opportunity on your highway travels please do the following. Plan and extra 3 hours into your trip. This will allow you to pull off the road, give your mind a break, and chase the little ball up and down the fairways. You never know what you may find.
4. Affordable golf prices in comparison to other regions of the country.
5. Sand green courses - How many of us started our passion for golf on sand green courses? If in 2011 you have not played a sand green golf course, please stay tuned to our website. We may be able to tell you about some of the hidden gems that still have sand greens.
6. Play at least 1 tournament and join a men's or ladies league. Remember these organized forms of play are not just for good golfers. Unless you are in a qualifier for the US or Canadian Amateur championships, why not challenge yourself to play an event in 2011. Even if it is a local Ladies Open or the Senior Men's Championships it is a lot of fun. There are several skill categories in most events. If nothing else it is a great way to meet some new people.
7. Invite a non-golfer to try the greatest game ever invented. Talk to a person who has not played the sport and ask if they would like to try.You don't have to play 18 with the person on the first day but ask if they would like to join you at the driving range or practice putting green.We believe it only takes 3 honest attempts to play before you are hooked.If nothing else you tried and most likely had a few good laughs together. So invite the neighbor, the kid next door, or the lady down the street.
8. Equipment – If you receive a gift certificate for golf equipment at Christmas or are looking to upgrade in 2011, please see a certified club fitter (CPGA member, PGA, Golf Town, Nevada Bob's etc.) as they will make sure you the equipment going into your bag is not going to jeopardize your score. Remember fitted clubs = opportunity for better scores.
9. Practice with purpose – talk to your CPGA of Saskatchewan member and find out how to practice with purpose. Many times at a golf course we see people practicing hitting their driver and utility woods.Unfortunately those clubs are usually their best clubs. Talk with the pros as they can get you on the right track to practicing with purpose.
10. Exercise – ah, everyone's favorite New Year's Resolution. Well without failure - a stronger, leaner, and more flexible body will allow you to play better golf in 2011. Similar to practicing with purpose, ask the experts at your local health & fitness club or at least get up off the couch for 1 hour a day and get the heart pumping. Walk the dog; chase the kids or grand kids, because every step counts.

Source: Saskatchewan Golf Association, www.saskgolf.ca

Stand proud

Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls...

A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a Year.

That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes you proud. Almost feel like a hybrid. A lean mean golfing machine - so to speak!

DeLaet inside the ropes

Graham DeLaet of Weyburn will write a weekly blog on the association’s website, www.cpga.com. The 27-year-old has started off well with four top-15 finishes in South Africa, two of those as runner-up. His performance in South Africa comes on the heels on a tie for 13th at the World Cup and a win at the Canadian Tour’s Montreal Open. He also finished second at the Jane Rogers Championship and Canadian Tour Championship late in 2008.

Amen Corner

"Having a great golf swing helps under pressure but golf is a game about scoring. It's like an artist who can get a two-inch brush at Wal-Mart for 20 cents or a fine camel-hair brush from an art store for $20. The brush doesn't matter - how the finished painting looks is what matters."

- Jerry Pate